Wednesday, July 31, 2013

She Didn't Sweep Under the Chairs

I've become "Her Indoors" in merely a week.
Blame the workmen playing with their diggers and bulldozers in the giant clay pit next door.
Once a verdant, overgrown, secret adventure playground, the wonderland was a place for The Stylist and I to play hooky and shoot some wild outfit posts.
But good secrets don't stay secrets for long though do they?

Day One: If Her Indoors had net curtains, she'd be twitching them while bothering the council about the wretched noise coming from next door and sharing a blow-by-blow account of the conundrum with her chums.

Day Nine: Her Indoors considered asking the polite yet noisy lads to keep it down, but she's realised the social networking opportunities down at the Over-50s centre.

She hasn't had time to put her face on, but Her Indoors would be naked without her lippy.

Speaking of lippy, pink lipstick.
How do we feel about that?
On me.
As opposed to my beloved reds.
Those gorgeous wenches Vix and Krista are just two of countless babes who rock the HELL out of pink and I thought I might give it a go.
The last time I wore pink lipstick was in the mid-80s when Wendy James of Transvision Vamp and Bill Wyman's under-age squeeze, Mandy Smith, were steaming up the tabloids.
They wore white-pink lippy, very pale.
So of course I did too.
Not a good look on me.
This one's brighter - Fluorescent Contessa, by Lime Crime.
I'll give it time.
Or a wide berth.

At least Wendy could sing.

What was Mandy's excuse?
Oh that's right, she was 16, so I can't blame the poor wee deluded pet.
Amazing what a Rolling Stone and a controlling mother can get away with.
Oh god, I swapped fire engine red lipstick, oh so briefly at age 19, because of this?
Madonna, I am so sorry I betrayed you.
Will you ever forgive my indiscretion?

Snap, snap ... back to the now people.
I made this headband, named her Bet Does Barbados, put her in the Sassy Vamps shop yesterday and she sold in five minutes.
That's never happened to me until now ... thank you Phillipa!

When you get down to floor-level everything looks crap.
Except for bright and shiny things.
Her Indoors should know better.

1950s cardigan, Mighty Mouse t-shirt, gold skirt, bilum bag - all secondhand
Earrings - Etsy shop, Bones Couture
PInk sparkle necklace - made by mermaid heroine, Krista
Green skull necklace - craft market
Legging-tights - Black Milk

Men's vintage hat and military blazer, leather shorts - second hand
Amy Winehouse rosary - custom made by Etsy shop, Berndt Offerings

 Pics are a bit wobbly as it was nearly dark and we were dashing to get The Stylist to ballet.

The same pink lippy again, see I don't give up easily!

Jeans, t-shirt, kid's headband - second hand
1980s jacket - Vintage Junkyard
Earrings - Etsy shop, Bones Couture

Miss Camel Toe has always been rather opinionated and invariably orders one to just "rock that shit HARD", even a two-dollar pair of jeans I've had in deep storage for two years.

Pink kisses to you darlinks!!
Desiree xxxx

Thursday, July 25, 2013

The Idiot's Guide To Fabulous

I owe it to these two fabulous wenches for inspiring me today.

One of my childhood heroines, the ever-playful Agnes Moorehead in Bewitched, and ...

the glorious Miss Simmonds Says.
I've been living in false eyelashes and getting busy dyeing this week.

Take one 1950s white cotton bra.

Add dye, salt, water, then stir.

Dry in a shady spot.

Then get that thing on ya bod!

Add bling as required.
I'm wearing the brooch Vintage Bird Girl gave me and a beautiful Frida necklace made by  Tamera.

I'm also wearing half-lashes and I treated myself to Lime Crime's Velveteens in the colour, Suedeberry.

I bought this pretty 1960s cotton blouse for $1 from the Salvos before it burned down a few years ago.
I never wear it, probably because I'm not a big fan of cream or white.

Repeat process.

Be awesome like Endora.

Fabulous darling!

Bless you!

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Damn It Feels Good To Be A GaNg$Ta

A dear friend told me yesterday, "You don't realise how strong you really are".
I think she's right.
She looked me in the eyes and said it straight.
And that's how it really is for so many of us.
We don't always realise when we're strong because we have to be tough all the time.
There are those like me who should probably have it tattooed inside their eyelids.
That's GaNg$Ta.
I've been feeling like a GaNg$Ta all week after casting off body ageing hangups like a python sheds its skin in spring.
Thank you, all of you for sharing your thoughts and helping us all to be strong.
Fuck anyone who tells a woman how she's supposed to feel and look at any age.
Darling Bella of Citizen Rosebud bared her heart in her Pin Up or Shut Up post on our celebration of the body beautiful while privately harbouring prejudices about our own body shape.
And Vix of Vintage Vixen had a wonderfully heated rant about how feeling awesome and sexacious is simply a state of mind.
At any age.

Vintage tutu, earrings, pink and silver bird ornament - op shops
Vintage fur cape, bow headband and shoes - second hand market
Necklace - custom made by Phussy
Tights - Sock Dreams

It seems the stars were aligned for friendship and love this week when this GaNg$Ta Goddess was spoilt rotten by fellow hard-arse, soft-hearted wenches, some of whom have shared health ups and downs on their blogs.
First up was Sarah Misfit who snapped up this amazing, huge 1970s cake tin for me from an op shop and stuffed it full of goodies, including a scrumptiously warm, 1980s velour jumpsuit.
The Stylist and I have been haggling over sharing the jumpsuit and she won out this week, wearing it to bed every night!

The adorable Vintage Bird Girl and I fiiiiiiiiiinally met up for coffee and a yarn.
She is precious, kind and compassionate and I just wanted to hug her all the time ... of course we both wore green because we understand the power of the best colour of all time.
She spoilt me with scrumptious gifts, including an amazing granny bag made from a bath mat, bling-bling and a fab print of Deborah Kerr which immediately joined the Wall of Wenches in our lounge room.

And then out of the blue, look what arrived from Sarah Misfit's bestie, Miss A!
She sent me this INCREDIBLE 1970s maxi with semi-sheer lace daisy bodice and sleeves.
And it's a perfect fit - GAH!

She also sent me a beautiful 1950s purple veiled cocktail hat, gifts for The Stylist, books for the lads, and bling-bling, including a fecking amazing GaNg$Ta-sized lion-head necklace.
I nearly died.

And check out the red stitching and rose embroidery on this fabulous 1970s black jacket for The Stylist.

1940s frock - gift from The Hornbag aka Helga
Earrings - gift from darling Miss A
Bag - gift from lovely Vintage Bird Girl
Belly dancer's belt - gift from sexalicous Sarah Misfit
Vintage necklaces - Etsy
VW Melissa shoes - NYC Melissa sample sale

I jingled about doing my Friday chores and medical supply pick-ups, much to the surprise of locals who stood stock-still to stare at the weird noisy lady in the 1940s frock with all the Eastern jewellery hanging off her.
That's GaNg$Ta.

I'm calling this 1980s gown The Dingbat, due to its fabulous wing-like appendages highlighting one's derriere.
I snaffled it up from a Facebook friend who was selling off some gear to, of course, make room for more pretties.

Vintage lucite bangle - a gift from The Phoenix
Awesome lion necklace - from Miss A
Evil eye earrings - Etsy shop, Bones Couture
Feather cape - second hand

Don't bury yourself alive, be fucken GaNg$Ta.

And stay GaNg$Ta baby.
Love Desiree xxx
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