Friday, September 30, 2011

Frock Off Mrs Doyle!

Well, well, well.
Who have we here?
It's Mrs Doyle sneaking a lovely cuppa in Father Ted's kitchen!

Yes, she's been run right of her feet today looking after all the dear fathers and brothers, clearing up after them in the parish house.

She's wearing a lovely cotton number especially for the grand occasion of Frock on a Friday.
Originally named Ugly Betty by our dear Sister Sarah Misfit, Mrs Doyle has seen fit to rename the frock after herself.
She's a bit of a domestic slut thank the lord, so she'll probably get that pile ironing into shape in a month or so.

And tell me where would Mrs Doyle be without her moustache kindly blessed by Saint Helga von Trollop?
She'd probably be less scary to this wee novice aka Number Three Son.
Oh he's too shy to accept a lovely wee cuppa to make it all better.
Oh go on. 
Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on.
You'll feel much better for it!

 Father Jack's having one of his off days so Mrs Doyle gets a well-deserved break from turning this:
Into this:
Her domestic sluttery know no bounds.
It took about six months to get around to that righteously heinous task.

 Go on!

Oh it's jolly nice print isn't it?  Me blessed virgin would approve of this frock.

 Yes, there she is bless her.

 The laddie's coming 'round to the idea, I'm sure of it!

 Oh have a lovely cuppa on me all you lovelies and take a spot of Mrs Doyle with you into the weekend.
You're welcome sisters.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Enough About Me, Let's Talk About Me

Yes lets!
But first, it's the end of a very lovely day and I managed to snap off these pics of today's outfit before it got dark.

I love this "new"1950s cotton ruffled blouse.
It's so very twee and deserves to be worn with leather shorts - ya know, just to loosen things up a bit.
The blouse was from Vintage JoAnn's Etsy shop; the leather shorts were thrifted for $10; old Geisha leggings from Black Milk; VW Melissa's from Amazon; thrifted bag and hair flower; mish-mash jewellery.

The shorts are a bit big but they're super-comfy.
I refuse to wear anything that makes me feel physically or emotionally uncomfortable - ever.

 Ooooh what's this?
Something I think the Vintage Coconut would go nuts over.

 Yes, it's a hand-painted polished coconut handbag.  Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!

 Unzip it and it's cotton-lined and there's another zipped compartment.

 A cute little secret compartment.
I thrifted it for the massive sum of $10 today, but I've seen these tagged at $40 before so I snapped it up when I noticed a few more customers lurking around watching me fondle it.

Why am I covering my crotch?  
Because it looks like I got a massive woody every time I sit down.
Today a couple walked past me and the woman said to her fella "careful your eyes don't fall out".
Was she referring to my pants problem?
This and many other questions are sure to keep me awake tonight.   Anyway ...

Lakota of Faith, Hope and Charity Shopping is my idol for, among many of her gifts, being a Twinkle cover girl.
She wants me to talk about my favourite subject alphabetically.

A is for Age: 43 and no, I will never, ever have cosmetic surgery because I know if I do, I will truly miss my neck crepe, forehead wrinkles and crows feet.  For real.

B is for Bed size: Queen but I love romping on a king at every opportunity.

C is for Chore That you Hate:  All housework, especially dishwashing.  Dishes grow like mould and won't go away.  But I don't mind doing the laundry, pegging it out and admiring my artistic handiwork.  We generally live in squalor though.

D is for Dogs:  Poppy the Fox Terrier, but she lives with my ex because we don't have a fence for her.  Sniff.
 My gal Poppy with one of her babies.

Poppy is mum to Dexter and Winston.

E is for Essential Start to the Day:  Groaning, stumbling into doorways, loo, then strong tea.

F is for Favourite Colour:  GREEN!!
Here's some green stuff.

G is for Gold or Silver:  Both at the same time.

H is for Height:  5"6.  People think I'm really, really tall until they stand next to me so I frequently lie about my height, but never my age.  It's all very strange really.

I is for Instruments You Play:  None.  But The Phoenix reckons I do a fine job on the recorder.

J is for Job Title:  Contortionist.

K is for Kids:  Four.  Ages: 22, 14, 10, 8.  Three boys, the youngest a girl.  I always wanted a little brother and I had my eldest quite young so we kind of grew up together:).  

L is for Live:  Large-style.  I'm off the mortgage hamster wheel and not keen to get back on it - I'd rather travel.

M is for Mother's Name:  June aka Electric June: horticulturalist, jam-maker, cake-baker, rose-gardener, seamstress, knitter, best gravy-maker, DIY everything.

Here's mum in a 1940s silk suit my Nana bought her - must have taken up quite a few WWII coupons!!  
The pic was taken at a family reunion in the mid 60s with her two sisters and brother - they're all still alive!
Mum would be about 40 here.

For years, my sisters and I quietly struggled over the ownership of the suit when Mum couldn't wear it anymore.  Guess who she gave it to about three years ago?

N is for Nickname: Des.  I know, really original eh?  But we don't get to pick our nicknames do we?

O is for Overnight Hospital Stays:  One night each after babies three and four.  Number one was born at home, I went home a few hours after pushing out number two.  Aren't I just a frickin' legend?

P is for Pet Peeves:  I hate shopping centres and malls.

Q is for Quote from a Film: "Are you my three o'clock?" plus "So there was this huge guy f**king me in the ass and there were these two guys dressed as cops in my mouth an' I thought to myself: 'I love acting'" - both by Mira Sorvino aka Judy Cum in Woody Allen's Mighty Aphrodite.

R is for Right or Left-Handed:  Right.

S is for Siblings:  I'm the youngest of seven.  Two brothers and four sisters.  Can't you tell? "Look at meeeeeeeee".

T is for Time You Wake Up:  Twenty minutes before the kids have to leave for school.

U is for Underwear:  Most days.

V is for Vegetable You Hate: Choko.  Yuk!!  Why do people leave bags of them on their neighbour's front doorsteps?  They're frickin' weeds!!

W is for What Makes You Run Late:  Me.  I still get everyone else ready first - a habit from the days of having lots of little people wrapped around my legs or a baby hanging off a booboid.  Then I grab a mish-mash of stuff and end up looking like a crazy bag-lady - you've seen the results.

X is for X-rays You've Had:  Two.  Broken toes from running through the house at 13 with size 9 feet.  Then last year I fell on my right elbow - now it just clicks.

Y is for Yummy Food that You Make:  I lost my cooking mojo when I had a couple of breakdowns two years ago.  Now I can only manage great salads, minestrone, roast and pancakes.

Z is for Zoo Animal:  My kids.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

That's the Way, A-ha A-ha I Like It

Don't cha just wanna slap that smug look off my face?

You too can feel wonderfully smug when you I show you something really gross to pep up your day. 

Yep, there's the contents of the laundry/storage area thrown out the back door.
More evidence of domestic sluttery.
Isn't it just so disgraceful and heavenly?
I had no idea we had so many empty boxes and junk rammed into such a tiny space.

All gone!
I did a massive purge today and everything has been taken away by the garbage truck heroes or waiting tidily in the shed for the next load.
There's nothing quite like a wonderful garbage enema is there?

My reward for all that hard work?
Well, I don't have a sweet tooth, so chocolate wasn't the teaser.
It was playing around with outfits and coming up with something to wear with my new red tights from Sock Dreams.
Her Holy Fecking Hotness Helga has inspired me to go for red legs, something I've never done before.
I love red, but rarely wear it, yet I have been enjoyed my "new red 1960s hat and DIY headband.
Yowza, I'm a red-tights convert!

This homemade 1950s frock is probably the most tame one I own but I love wearing it.
It's a dark cream embossed satin that has softened with age and loves a stiff breeze.

So "Wilma", my 1960s Vanity Fair half slip is just the thing to spice things up for those cheeky puffs of wind.

 I'm also wearing a load of thrifted junk jewellery that I adore, some earrings from Bookhouse Creations; 1940s fur cape; my current fave vintage handbag and one of my DIY floral headbands.

 Oh and sparkly boogie shoes of course.

My head is stuck in mid-70s roller disco mode these days, thus the red tights perhaps?
I can't shake the KC and the Sunshine Band 8-track-player-on-a-loop in my head and I don't wanna.
Where are my bloody roller skates when I need them?  Roller Girl, did you nick 'em?
Get down tonight!!
Desiree xoxo

Monday, September 26, 2011

Ow, She's a Brick House

She's mighty mighty, just letting it all hang out ...

I'm in an awfully cheeky mood this Monday evening, I'm wearing my fabulously tacky 1980s gold skirt, a David Bowie t-shirt from Ms Minx's shop, second-hand F21 feather cape, 1950s veiled headband from eBay, leopard bag from Dandelion Vintage, ostrich skin bag from a Melbourne market and VW Melissa Temptations from Amazon.

Tights Please have asked me to review a few pairs of tights for them.Yes please!
I'm wearing a pair of Pamela Mann one size fits all, black and white duo-tone tights.
Well, they fit, they're soft and they actually stretch right up to the crotch with no sagging.
Helga von Trollop and I both have the same problem: crotch-eating growlers that end up in tights with breezy holes in private places ... brrrrrrrrr!!
No chance of that happening with these, I have a 32" inside leg and they stretch beautifully.

Ooh 'tis a bit breezy!
Happy Monday everyone!
Desiree xo

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Where I Help Fix the Car

Our neighbours keep well clear of us.  
We're largely ignored except for the young lad next door who never fails to linger and give me a wink and a nod if I happen to be signing for a package or watching the towing guy winch one of our cars off his flat-bed.  Again.
Maybe it's because there was this one time The Phoenix raced down the street in his undies to hand me my birthday present that had just been delivered.
Or it could be due to the time I reversed over The Phoenix on the driveway.
Despite the disgraceful behaviour, we are largely harmless, even if we do look a bit strange when it comes to practical matters.

Yes, "we" are assessing the state of the ignition coil, battery and other very important things relating to Victor the Volvo's private parts.
The Phoenix in dressing gown, me in evening gown.
Comfort is vital.

 See? Helping.

I had to relinquish the red welding gloves, even though they made fabulous gauntlets.
The pics were taken for Vanessa's "Dress Up for the Heck of It Day" even though I needed no excuse to get frocked up.

 And lookie here!  I actually cleared a space where I keep some of my clothes.  
People can actually walk to the kitchen now, without tripping over piles of storage bags and furs!

It kind of looked like this before when yet another one of my overloaded clothes racks gave up on me.

This is the only tidy spot in the house now and I can give you a better look at the 1940s sheer frock I bought from eBay.
I thrifted the spotty bow tie for 20 cents, earrings for 50 cents and the 1950s veiled cocktail hat for $5.
Gold VW Melissa's from eBay.

 I like the intricate veiling used for this hat - oh so mysterious sweetie!

Back view, there's a lovely rose attached to the hat's circlet. 

The ring and a lovely yellow dress were gifts included in a parcel of goodies I bought from Ms Minx.
Thank you darling!!

You thought I was naked under the dress didn't you? Ha! Foiled by this 1940s rayon slip that doubles as a fabulous frock in summer.
I think my booboids are awesome in this pic.  Not bad for six years breastfeeding four babies eh?
Hope you're having a booby-liscous weekend!!
Desiree xo

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