You can laugh all you like Madonna, but I still want to squeeze that almost non-existent arse of yours.
Coz when I returned from the Melbourne Cup Day vintage fashion parade last Tuesday, you were my inspiration to strip down and don my 1970s le smoking-style wool suit.
I couldn't help it - the voices were screaming your name and I caved.
I snaffled this original 1970s suit, complete with satin collar and trouser side-stripes, from eBay a few months ago.
I'm pretty sure the seller had a bad case of "oh no what the feck have I done?" after I bought it coz she turned out to be a bit of a biatch.
But ya know, I think you've gotta be a god damn, fecking awesome bitch to wear this suit and if my prosti La Dama could do my eye make up for me, I reckon I could melt anyone into soup with my stink-eye look.
Except for one (or two) things.
I bought a 34C cup 1950s longline cotton bra from eBay thinking I could wear it as a top all this summer, but there's this one problem of a sad lack of boobage.
What the hell?
How come I fit all my other modern bras in that size?
Am I missing something?
Well yes, I know that quite clearly I'm missing some titties to fill the cups, but did they measure lingerie differently 50 years ago?
I mean a 34C is a 34C right?
I still reckon it's a feck-off awesome suit tho' and I can always wear my 1950s strapless black lace bustier.
An' I love all you gorgeous biatches!!!
Desiree xoxoxoxo
Coz when I returned from the Melbourne Cup Day vintage fashion parade last Tuesday, you were my inspiration to strip down and don my 1970s le smoking-style wool suit.
I couldn't help it - the voices were screaming your name and I caved.
I'm pretty sure the seller had a bad case of "oh no what the feck have I done?" after I bought it coz she turned out to be a bit of a biatch.
But ya know, I think you've gotta be a god damn, fecking awesome bitch to wear this suit and if my prosti La Dama could do my eye make up for me, I reckon I could melt anyone into soup with my stink-eye look.
I bought a 34C cup 1950s longline cotton bra from eBay thinking I could wear it as a top all this summer, but there's this one problem of a sad lack of boobage.
What the hell?
How come I fit all my other modern bras in that size?
Am I missing something?
Well yes, I know that quite clearly I'm missing some titties to fill the cups, but did they measure lingerie differently 50 years ago?
I mean a 34C is a 34C right?
Never mind all that boobage bollocks, I'm still going to wear it as a top and all those other bitches can go stick it.
See what happens when you channel Madonna?
All the swearing and attitude comes out.
God I love her.
Desiree xoxoxoxo
I have some great Madge bras. Modern sizing, retro look. What Katie Did makes bras that shape your boobs into perfect cones! :)
ReplyDeleteThat necklace is fantastic! I'm drooling a little.
You look Smokin' in that suit! I've got a bullet bra too that's supposed to fit me. It doesn't. But I did get a nice wee pair of cone-shaped fillers to sort the problem! x
ReplyDeleteYou make a better Madonna than Madonna does these days! It's a beautiful beautiful suit, you look GAW-JUS!
ReplyDeleteAnd I love YOU right back, too bad that sexy man snapped you up, or there could be some serious frottage of the sapphic variety goin' on around here!!!! I always find vintage bras are smaller than their modern equivalents. Have you got your hot sticks yet??
ReplyDeleteYou make a wonderful Madonna!
ReplyDeleteLove the suit! I used to have a pair of trousers almost exactly like them when I was younger! They had the shiny satin black stripe down the side of the legs too. I always thought they reminded me of geeky band trousers but they look excellent on you!
I think everyone in the 50s must have either stuffed their bullet bras or had super pointy boobs! x
Hey, Hey, hey, you look, how do you say it... fecking hot in this suit! God you are smokinnnnn in that frock girl, ouh, ouh! forget the booby thing who cares!
ReplyDeleteDesiree, I love your feature on Miss P's blog, love your attitude and love what you said to your colleague about getting old, bastard he was!
I would have said the same to the fecker!
Thanks for your comment on my blog!
Love you ! Ariane xxxx
This is so good. Love the attitude, love the suit! And yes, I'm a Madonna fan as well...
ReplyDeleteGreat outfit and even better attitude!
ReplyDeleteThank you for following me back, I'm really flattered!
xxx
You look so hot and stylish in this killer all black outfit. I like it. :)
ReplyDeleteha ha ha ha ha ha i love you so much you have an amazing sense of style and sense of humour ;-)) You rock the suit loving your shoes. dee xx
ReplyDeleteJust DIVINE.
ReplyDeleteAnd you could also swap out those suit trousers for the green lurex ones ...
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Madonna who?
Te amo Desireesita..I love your Marlene Diedrich suit amor!
ReplyDeleteI would love to paint your beautiful big eyes. you did a great job, smokey eyeshadow is my fave. forget Madonna has shit on you. the bra needed those bra pads that make your chi chis pointy. I need to get me some too for my bullet bra. I adorar your curly gorgeous locks.
besotes
FRIGGIN BAM BADA BOOM, dang mama you are looking FIERCE in this suit. I mean I'm kinda cowering at your command of the suit, and your body is BANGIN!!!!!! Madonna has nada on you!
ReplyDeletePointy banana boobs meh, never did much for me, I prefer my boobs a bit smooched and overflowing :)
I love the curls in your hair and the second to the last photo is so sexy smug ~ I want you on my FRIG so I can look at that face every morning as I stumble around my kitchen in the dark cursing to the world making coffee.
You are gorgeous. I hope married life is treating you well and that you guys are "spending lots of quality time together" :) Ya gotta love love baby!
XOXOX~
Krista
You look so hot, who cares whether the C cups are full or not?!
ReplyDeleteThat suit is fabulous, I adore the necklace, and as always you are the BEST poser! I agree with Krista, that second to last pic of you is a stunner.
I know you were channelling Madonna, but it makes me think of Bianca Jagger's white trouser suit and Studio 54. Show us your moves, Desiree!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You are very beautiful! much better than Madonna)
ReplyDeleteYou are a trip Desiree! I love this look and am looking for something myself only with tails. You can always buy some boobs to fill out that sweet little cami. You are class and style squared! -T
ReplyDeleteYou're dressed so much like my Mum used to when she went to posh do's it's uncanny. She much preferred a man's dinner suit, skimpy top and a velvet cummerbund & bow tie.
ReplyDeleteI love it, those trousers fit you like a freaking dream and you could always pad out those cups with chicken fillets, you gorgeous creature. xxx
Have just read Sacramento's post about and had to come over and say hello, You are amazing. Xxxx
ReplyDeletePeople love your feature, but I am not surprised. Your absolutely Rock, my dearest friend.
ReplyDeleteYeahhhhhhh Madona and you for ever
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*MmmeeeoooW* Des you are looking SMOKING hot!
ReplyDeleteyou are so gorgeous! just saw you on mispapelicos blog and thought wow! what a gorgeous woman with amazing timeless style! love the blog and love this outfit! you look better than madonna :)
ReplyDeletexo
A_Riot
You totally crack me up :).
ReplyDeleteI love the Le Smoking suit. Very chic, and the big bra cups make it just a wee bit naughty.
I saw your feature on Sacramento Blog & now I am a new STALKER/FOLLOWER!!!! I absolutely ADORE your sense of style & humor... I think I will be reading your blog for the rest of the night! :))
ReplyDeleteClothing sizes have changed dramaticly over the decades. In vintage clothing I wear like a size 20. In today's clothing I'm about a 10 or a 12 (American). It would make sense that bras have changed too, and then there's the fact that bra sizing is not consistent anyway. I'm a "G" cup in some French brands, a "DDD" in some English brands, and I shrink down to "DD" or "D" in American brands. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteSeriously what can't you wear??? Your suit looks amazing and you definitely have the attitude to pull it off!
ReplyDeleteDesiree you rock that suit girl, I love 'Le Smoking'.
ReplyDeleteApologies for being such a terrible blogger, I have just been through your previous posts...you got MARRIED!
Many congratulations to you and your gorgeous man, you were a stunning bride I adored your wedding outfit.
XXX
Amazing shoes.I follow your blog.Regards
ReplyDeleteMe thinks your cup(s) runneth over!
ReplyDeleteI cannot fit vintage either. The slips usually are more 'generous' in the cup for some reason, but in orfer to fit a skirt or dress of vintage, I must buy a size 16 usually to go round my belly!
Gorgeous suit my love!!!!!
xXx
Reva
O GOOD GAWD HOW DID I MISS THIS DELICIOUS POST?!
ReplyDeleteDRY HUMPING,SELF RUBBING,BOOB GROPING GOING ON RIGHT NOW!!
TOO HAWT FOR FRIGGING WORDS.YOU JUST ARE!
AAAAAAAAAAAARRGHHHHHHH
YOU ARE CREAMINESS PERSONIFIED!
LOVE AND LUSTYPOPS!!!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
How amazing you are! Pure glamour!
ReplyDeleteSuch a bummer - I have some troubles with vintage sizing too. I'm Brittish size 10-12, but I know for sure that when it comes to vintage dresses, 14 can be a bit tight.
ReplyDeleteBut that bra still looks great. I'd love to have one of my own - it makes one pretty and really sexy top)
You look amazing in this suit and you are amazing everyone girl needs a girlfriend like you.
ReplyDeleteWe love u 2
ReplyDelete