Yes? No? Yes?
I'm going to tell you anyway.
Firstly, read all the how-to style books you possibly can until you're having anxiety attacks every time you look in the mirror and your brain is ready to explode.
Now, do you feel really shit about the contents of your wardrobe?
Confess. Do you have the required classics such as half a dozen white shirts, a pair of black pants, wrap dress, classic jeans and black tights? **Yaaaawwwwwwwwn**.
No? Then please don't go shopping.
Pile up those books and burn them.
Send them to charity, return them to the library or give them to someone you hate.
Just get those books far away from you.
Now pick one item of clothing out of your wardrobe that you like but rarely or have never worn, throw it on the bed, then start throwing pieces in various colours around it.
Go for it. You're getting warm when your eyes start popping in surprise at the sight of colours that aren't supposed to "go".
Today I started with this 1960s, gorgeously soft, wool, paisley sweater I picked up for a buck at a flea market.
Next came the purple tights. Yes, really.
Once the green skirt came into the frame, I was really feeling the vibe.
Repeat after me ... "Green is a neutral colour".
Enter pink croco mary jane VW Melissa shoes and I was on a roll.
Woo-hoo!! Hey this is fun!
I needed a hat ... hmmm ... how about this Italian green felt 1930s cocktail hat?
No, I think I'll go with the velvet leopard-print hat that Nelly gave me.
Mis-matching is fun so I grabbed a 1940s snakeskin handbag - pile on those animal prints!
More animal needed and it's really chilly so I've added a 1940s fur cape.
Quite a bit of clashing going here!
It's all so very wrong isn't it? And yet it feels so damn good.
Keep trying those crazy colour combos peeps ... when you get the hang of it, you'll be wearing two, then three (or more!) colour families.
D'ya loike me new lippie? It's MAC's Ruby Woo. I don't think I've ever worn such a bright, true red.
Aren't ageing women supposed to wear paler make up? Me, wear insipid make up?
You can forget all that "style" bullshit too.
I've added a few close-ups for you today. I bought the bag about 15 years ago from a tiny antique shop in New Zealand.
The bangles are all thrifted and I never pay more than a buck per bangle.
The ring on my first finger is thrifted, the second arrived yesterday from Chris's Etsy store (check her out!) and the rock on my third finger is from our lovely Vix ... cool eh?
The nail polish is Rimmel's Sky High.
These vintage alarm clock earrings are also from Chris.
The 1950s beads were thrifted years ago for about 50 cents and the 1960s necklace is another gift from Vix - thank you darling!
Yep, just pile up the granny jewellery with the hippy stuff ... give it a try, you never know, you might like it. I do.
I love the heart buckles on these shoes.
The green tweed skirt, thick tights and mary-janes are all very granny-like but the skirt is form-fitting, the tights are coloured and the shoes have hidden platforms - sexy granny;).
The neighbour's cat has adopted us ... such a gorgeous, affectionate creature.
There's a tiny bit of bling on my left wrist, a sweet bracelet from the saucy Sarah Misfit.
I shall name this my hippie-granny look.
So did you learn anything today?
Here's a speedy recap.
1. Green is a neutral colour.
2. Animal prints go with everything ... the more the merrier.
3. The older you get, the more jewellery you should wear.