Saturday, June 22, 2013

Real Big Beauty Queen Style

My ear has been to the ground.
There have been whispers, stories, photographs and shared opinions steering me to confront an issue I wish had been sorted out long ago.
Teenage girls who run a school feminist group are heckled, sexually harassed and physically threatened.
A photo of a girl sleeping is tagged by howling "dogs" to rape her.
A friend's daughter is told by a relative that her beautiful vintage dress is inappropriate for  her graduation.
Now I know for sure the battle for independent thought and activity will never stop.
We're supposed to be beauty queens.
But we are not worthy.
Dress to please others from a tender age.
Be the judge.
Get judged.
Or get used to the fight.



























This girl's got 'tude in buckets.


So has this one.
The ten-year-old lassie jumped at the chance to express her indignity at competitive beauty.
She had free reign to choose her burnt-out, rejected, beauty queen style.
The girl has Plans.
And at this rate, more than likely, a bright future.
She's not nicknamed The Stylist for nothing.







Tonight, a failed beauty queen pushed her rosy-cheeked daughter out in front of the footlights.
The woman paid the price.










Kisses wenches!
Desiree xoxo

47 comments:

  1. This post is a masterpiece!!! I swear I'm speachless!! The message is so powerful and strong, as a woman I think about my rights everyday and it's so sad that after so many years our indipendence is still a faded dream..our bodies has been commercialized and our minds emptied, we are mere sexual objects and the new feminist wave is the proof that not as much has changed from the last century.
    I love the photos of you and the Stylist, great work..chapeau!
    Baci xxxxxxxx

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  2. shit shit shit shit!!!!oh shit all i can do is swear, you have stolen every word with your awesome post!!!!this is just the best post ever, also makes us all stop and think! You two are perfection! Tell your daughter there is a woman in the UK who is blown away by her spirit and style and beauty and then say the same thing to her mama from me with kisses and hugs on top! i so want that picture of you 2 for my studio wall!!! friggin hell you are beyond awesome!!! xxxx

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  3. This isn't a blog post. It's art. Gorgeous, angry, powerful art. And I love it.

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  4. I agree with all our blogger friends. This post is art and touches the heart, dear Desiree.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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  5. What an amazing post ! I share it right now on my fb page ! I love how your girl begins to express herself in this photoshoot, it's very moving !
    By the way you were right : my skeleton earings glow in the dark !!!

    http://selenite.weebly.com

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  6. speechless, you left me speechless

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  7. These are some mighty powerful images you have here! I have never seen the Stylist looking so expressive, this is such a powerful post. bravo! I think every woman should be able to feel beautiful in her own way. I think traditional beauty is so boring, to me it is about seeing who you are in how you dress.
    Stay free!
    Xxoo

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  8. I've never commented before, but this is as good a time as any to start - this post and photoshoot pictures are amazing! So poignant, funny, true, artistic and spirited - I love it! You and your girl are such a talented pair ~ LittleMissPlump - Sara (from Instagram)

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  9. Wow, Desiree I am speechless! This post is trememndous. So many potent and disturbing images. I really don't know what to say! Edie's comment sums it up better than I could. The Stylist kicks ass and so does her mama xxxxx

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  10. There's not much left to say, is there, except perhaps... BRAVO!

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  11. OUTRAGEOUS is the word that comes to mind about the bullying. It's the ugliest reality. I think girls should learn how to defend themselves with martial arts training starting at a very young age. I know this is not a very flowery solution of reconciliation and understanding, BLAH BLAH BLAH, but when confronted by a a gang of yahoo thugs, it may be the very thing.
    On to better thoughts - the photo shoot of you and The Stylist. WOW!!! Your statements are so powerful. You are both AWESOME. I saw a group of young women shopping for their graduation dresses at a local vintage shop, having a blast!! I laughed and ooohed with them.

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  12. Des you & the Stylist really hit this one on the head (and I sometimes wish this could be literal with the rampant sexism!) Our amazing young women will definitely be going places as they aren't afraid to express themselves & have the brains to back that up! They also have us to cheer them on! I find it truly sad that nothing has changed since I was my daughters age, if anything it seems to be worse. And that scares the hell out of me. Love you and your amazing daughter! XXX

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  13. The Stylist and yourself are REMARKABLE what fabulous pictures.
    You are two gorgeous dolls!

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  14. You both look smashing! I really enjoyed the message of this post.

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  15. Woah - you two are an awesome mother daughter team! I can't love this post enough, I've always felt pretty well awkward and anxious about the whole beauty queen thing. This post really hits the mark for me -perfect xoxo

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  16. So powerful, I'm speechless. Awesome duo xoxoxo

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  17. Wow! She really is the stylist. Comes by it naturally. Superb post! Here's to those of us who are nonconformists and encourage our children to express themselves with courage and kindness! Everybody else can just go to the MALL!!!!

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  18. You've done it again. That was an amazing post! I bow to you!

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  19. Wow, an amazing collection of pictures, and I'm listening to the music as I write this - very cool and moody. I also love your reaction to the Stylist, who looks fabulous (love the sunglasses)!

    But I'm confused. You're suggesting that women are commodified and pushed into the role of beauty queens, having to look pretty and sexy, but then you have so many sexy pictures of women on your sidebar. It seems like you're buying into that same ideal, just in a quirkier way. Obviously women enjoy looking at images of beautiful women, for different reasons than men do. it can be empowering, but it's still glorifying superficiality, and beauty, and luck. Do you know what I mean?

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  20. Your family is fabulous! The Stylist is so fierce, I'm in awe of her.
    Also, snaps for all the Virgin Suicide stills. It's one of my favourite movies of all time.

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  21. Wow! you must be an amazing mother and friend because your blog certainly kicks arse!

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  22. Oh Desiree I really don't have anything to add....all the comments above sum it up so beautifully and better than I could.
    I do have to say one thing......if we all had a mum like you, who was so willing to explore a life that is not held by the conformities of everyday reality.......I think we would all be so much better.......I know I would.
    The stylist is one blessed wee poppet.
    love V

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  23. Such powerful amazing images of you both and such a strong message too. As women it seems we have a constant battle, but with strong clever women like you around I'm sure we will win. Xx

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  24. such an accurate post along with perfect photos. The stylist has more than just a bright future ahead of her, she looks like she could rule the world! (And what a fantastic world that would be) x

    http://roseandvintage.blogspot.com/

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  25. This post is just incredible! Such amazing photos!

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  26. The saddest thing is that the bullies are too insecure and unsure of themselves to just live and let live. It shouldn't be this way, but unfortunately it seems to be a part of growing up, and to a lesser degree, adult life as well. Thank god for us independent thinkers. With you as her mama, I'm sure The Stylist will go far x

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  27. Nicely done work of art. This subject is age-old and not going away. The conditions women live in have long been controlled by patriarchy and the chains still exist.

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  28. Utterly fabulous. You knock me out and The Stylist will go far.xxxxx

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  29. The Stylist looks utterly amazing, she has real talent at this styling malarkey. 'Twas ever thus, I guess, the conventions of beauty and acceptability may change but they are always around in some form or another. It's always good to challenge those sterile notions of uniformity. Great post, Desiree. xxxx

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  30. What a great post, thought provoking, thrilling and oh so NECESSARY! We're all right to be worried.
    The Stylist looks incredible in her stunning outfit, a beautiful white phantom fighting her way through the patriachal injustice. And your outfit, dear Desiree, styled to scary pushy-mum perfection. The story you two have told is brilliant!

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  31. OUT-FUCKING-STANDING!
    I APPLAUD YOU TWO LOVELIES FROM THE MOUNTIAN TOPS!
    The shit just never ends. You and The Stylist are beacons of WONDER!
    Love and Lustipops!
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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  32. Fabulous, thought provoking and awesome post, the stylist is amazing, you too! And ditto to all comments above. xx

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  33. Fabulous, thought provoking and awesome post, the stylist is amazing, you too! And ditto to all comments above. xx

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  34. Both of your stylings are incredible, I love all these images, you fabulous pair of goddesses.
    I honestly can't say any of the issues have ever affected me, thank fuck for a brilliant and couldn't give a shit mother like I had. xxx

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  35. I would be the proudest Mom ever if I had a daughter like The Stylist - she is growing into a fiercely fabulous young woman and is a credit to her Mama.

    I love the photos you've chosen to illustrate this powerful post and your Mother/daughter photoshoot is way cooler than those "matching-outfit" department store photo sessions. You continue to inspire shock and awe!

    Hugs,
    Shelley

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  36. Here! Here! I haven't stopped by in a while and I am soooo glad I did! Love your "stylist" and go for it GF!!! YOu have all our support!!!xoxo

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  37. oh my god, this has got to be one of your best ever photo shoots, not least because it's got a message behind it. The Stylist is getting very cool indeed. That photo of the two of you, stood in an American Gothic pose is very powerful. You've raised a Rrrriot Grrrrl! Also - you're looking really fabulous! xxxx

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  38. Haha great pictures you guys are awesome! Your daughter is rockin it!!! Loved this post xoxoxo Heather

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  39. The Stylist is just that: a brilliant soul who clearly expresses herself through individual style. Thankfully she has an equally brilliant mother who refuses to water down her own style. I can only hope that the young people at school will continue to speak up for themselves and be a voice for those who have a harder time in a frequently misogynistic culture.

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  40. Your daughter is amazing, just like you!! x

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  41. I cant stand people that are so judgemental and assume someone is a person they wont like w/o even talking to them just because they are dressed different or god forbid, look prettier and have your own style while doing it. you are an inspiration. i used to get made fun of my style all growing up because ive always been into vintage and oldies music. of course now that is "cool" but boy did i get heckled by all the jealous girls in high school! people still make remarks or weird looks when im wearing something like my galaxy tights or pasties at a mermaid parade ;P but i refuse to let their ignorant remarks/rude looks bother me. haters are going to hate anyone who has a personality of their own so if you have a big personality my motto is you better own it because everyone will hate ya and be jealous of you because of it. girls like us need to band together! stop the presumptuous judgements based on clothing alone. TALK to the person before you decide what "type" of person they are instead of just looking at a thin girl and assuming "theyre probably just anorexic" or looking at someone in a small top and saying "they must be a slut!" or if someone is dressed out of the ordinary they are "crazy" or "trying too hard". i understand clothing does represent your personality in a lot of ways but i feel like before you dismiss someone based on their clothing you should at least talk to them first to find out if they even are the way they assume the person is. i know so many girls ive nver talked to (but heard what they have said about me behind my back) that think im vain or anorexic because im skinny and i go to mermaid parades and wear only pasties or small cutoffs w/crop tops in the summer. what they dont realize is that i take medication that can cause me a heat stroke so even if its only 78 degrees out i need to dress as lightweight as possible. sorry i happen to look cute while doing it and ppl just want to get jealous. ive had a lot of trouble making friends with girls because i cant stand how judgemental they are about absolutely everything and have no problem talking behind your back but not saying anything to your face. so that girl is goth... that doesnt mean shes a mean person, she just liked that style of clothing. at the end of the day, as important as they are to me, its just clothes!! i know im guilty of complaining about latest trends but i would never actually dismiss someone in public because they happen to be wearing a trend i dont like. as much as i love them, at the end of the day... its just clothes! let those wear what they want to wear w/o assuming they are bad people are "wrong" for wearing it! sorry for the rant lol

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  42. Just a fabulous timely thought-provoking post Desiree. And so so true!!

    You have raised an amazing young lady in the Stylist!!

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  43. dESIREE!
    I am blown away.
    Much creativity has been a brewin' since we last met!!!
    I cannot tell you in words how frigiin amazing this really is!!!
    Hugs
    Reva

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  44. One of the best blog posts I have read / seen confronting the problems women face with 'image' hounding. Good on ya! M x

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  45. "Get it right or get ready to fight!"Love, love this and your whole post. You always keep me on my toes, girlfriend. Please come link this to Visible Monday if you have a chance. xoxoxo

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Just do it ...

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