Saturday, April 19, 2014

We Have No Secrets

A week ago today, we had people over for drinks and finger food, which turned into dinner, thanks to our dear foodie friend Paul who was staying with us.
I remarked in my last post it was the first time I'd entertained a decent-sized crowd in five years.
Truth is, it was the first time in half a decade that I'd fed and watered any group other that my immediate family.
Because I was scared of falling off the wagon.
It will be five years on May 2 since I had a drink and I still haven't had a drop.
I've been blogging for four years and each year I make a point of giving myself a pat on the back here.
But don't congratulate me, I don't expect accolades.
Before that date in 2009, despite my ernest efforts, I'd slowly been making a big mess of myself and couldn't face a social occasion without getting hammered to some degree.
Three days later I was having my first stay in the loony bin.
The people I hurt the most were my children.  But they still seem to like me.
The words of #3 Son will always ring in my ears. 
I was making my daily late afternoon detour to the bottle shop for supplies and the wee chap (aged 7 at the time) piped up "Why are we ALWAYS coming here?"
I will be forever grateful for their forgiveness and for my dear husband, The Phoenix, for getting me through.

So, I've broken the spell, I'm not afraid to be within a metre of alcohol, I can entertain again and I've finally relinquished my self-imposed titles of party-pooper and social pariah.
If you can ignore the rant about The Onion, Emily has some interesting things to say about socialising without a drink in a piece published in xo Jane today, which reveals similar problems she faced when she decided on sobriety.

Yesterday I craved another poison: neon!
I couldn't get enough of it so as you can see, I piled it on, even my lipstick was a neon shade of red.
Earrings, sunnies and 1940s navy slip - Etsy
Green necklace - secondhand market
Yellow African necklace and bracelets, 1970s pendant and bangles - op shops
Pink spiked bracelet - gift from darling Vix
Slave bracelet - Phussy
Lipstick - Suedeberry by Lime Crime

Oh and remember my Frida lamp?
For those interested, it wasn't purchased from an op shop, anyone who gave that away would need their head read.
No, the lamp and hand painted cushion were from a wonderful local emporium called Creative Treasures which stocks locally-made crafts, clothing and soft furnishings, retro records, vintage clothing and collectibles.

Pics of the lamp illuminated and our gorgeous new cushion, both made by Recycled by Wendy, who has an amazing eye and knack for mixing stunning fabrics and tapestries to make cushions, reupholstered second-hand furniture, throws, footstools, bags and clothing.

I need this enormous cheongsam satin cushion and footstool in our house pronto.
Even the chillies are handmade using satin fabric.

The kimono lady, reef, windmill and mountain scenic fabrics are all tapestries and are mixed in with sequinned Indian fabrics and colourful cottons.  
The perfect throw, couch cover or wall hanging.

I bought these vintage sunnies from Creative Treasures for $5.

Tonight, blinged up once more and my hair curled with hot rods.
Not enough jewellery though ... never enough!

1960s top, shoes, globe earrings - eBay
Shiny skirt - op shop
Slave bracelet - Creative Treasures
Ring - craft market
Zip hair clip - gift from Erica Louise of Recycled Fashion

I hope you're all enjoying your long weekend.
We're off to Southbank tomorrow to ask Will and Kate to dinner. haaaaa!!
Baci, D xx


  1. This post deserves a big fat congrats to you!!!! I think that is such an accomplishment. I have friends and family who have gone through treatment for addiction--most comes to mind is my brother who is about 10 months sober--and it is no easy task by any means. It really does take a lot to go through it and I commend you. Here's to many more years of wonderful dinners and parties of celebration in your favor!

  2. I think you are very brave to share all of this and awesome to have come so far, it's not an easy thing to do or admit here. Keep going lady of awesomeness ;) Love the heart shaped glasses, those are so pretty!! All the colours together are marvellous. Enjoy the long weekend too :) Xx

  3. OK. Since you don't want to be congratulated, I will refrain. But anyone who recognises that a part of their behaviour isn't healthy or helpful, and does something about it, deserves some recognition. Change is HARD. The gap between wanting to change, and getting on and doing so, can be vast. You did it, and you have every right to be proud of yourself. So there. I am really pleased that you felt able to host your party and enjoy it, in a way that is right for you. Good on ya!
    And you look utterly gorgeous, whether neoned up or wavy and be-sequinned! Enjoy the weekend, love - oh and give baby George a squeeze from me when Will and Kate pop over for tea! xxx

  4. You are vibrant and beautiful and you should be very proud of yourself.

  5. CONGRATS & Mad Respect to you! Not only are you setting a fine example, you're looking extraordinarily fab while doing so! -xo

  6. If Will and Kate had dinner with you, it would surely be the highlight of their trip. Life is grand, especially when you feel good and have accomplished a major thing. Right on! Continue the celebration, please, especially with more noxious neon. Mmm. Hugs. I hope you enjoy your long weekend as well.

  7. Okay, I won't congratulate you, I will just give you a hug for being you. It must feel really good to know you can manage socialising in the vicinty of alcohol, and I believe that feeling a sense of accomplishment deep within ourselves is sometimes more powerful than the congratulations of others.
    Have a lovely weekend!

  8. Oh Baby Doll. This is a Very Big Deal!!!!! You deserve massive amounts of sequins and sparkles and more! BTW I was getting my hair chopped and I opened my phone to take a glimpse at the blogs and yours popped up. My hair cutter girl started jumping up and down and passed my phone around the salon as everyone exclaimed that You are quite the Beauty!!!! So so true. Big Hug!!!!!

  9. So hope Will and Kate come for their din dins at yours, and bring wee George. They would have a fabulous time for sure. Hey well done you, you so should be proud of yourself and be congratulated! It takes balls to do what you did and even bigger ones to share your story. You are a beautiful woman with a very loving family!

  10. Congrats on your ongoing victory. That's a tough fight.

  11. What a lovely post, and what a lovely surprise to see my zipper hair clip too xx

  12. Keep giving yourself that pat on your back, you bloody well deserve it. I almost needed shades to read this post with all your neoness!

    That kimono cushion and stool should be in my house.

  13. congratulations but I have to tell you how gorgeous and funny and wonderful you are. There...just did.
    That fecking lamp is awesome. I love it. Illuminated Frida. Perfect.

  14. You are awesome.

    My goodness your hair is just delightful. Wills and Kate would be darned lucky to be invited to your place for dinner. Have a great weekend. xx

  15. Aww... let us give you a little pat on the back too! We all have demons and you are standing up to yours and kicking its butt!

    Have fun with Will and Kate! ;D

  16. A case of "out of the mouth of babes" ... your family stand by you because they love you ... imagine if they didn't forgive you for getting some other kind of illness. After all that's what it is ... an illness. One that needs understanding and care.
    I won't congratulate you ... but I will say "Good job ... well done"

  17. Well , you most certainly have my admiration, my empathy, my warmth as I hear your story. It is a thing for you to celebrate in yourself. It must have been a good feeling to entertain again without fear. You look absolutely gorgeous. I love the new hair colour, and your neon and frock is divine! Xoxo

  18. No congrats as requested but if it's ok I am massively chuffed for you, you got gumption - your neon is awesome, I adore everything you wear forever, you inspire me to want to wear something extra sparkly, which always works and always makes me feel good - the cheongsam cushion with silk chilli's and footstool is utterly gorgeous - have fun with Wills and Kate, I reckon they are a laugh!!! x x x

  19. This post is inspiring on many levels: yours is the beauty of courage and honesty. Shine on, dear sparkled one!

  20. 5 years sober is quite the achievement Des. I'm glad you have conquered that demon for now. You look utterly amazing in the polka-dot slip. Your hair looks SO good! I swear I think I saw you today in the crowd near Kate. I said to my mum, "That's Des!!!" I think I was more excited about spotting you then the Royal couple! I hope you're enjoying the long weekend. Xx

  21. As someone who's had 6 years as of this past January...who says sobriety has to be boring, hmmm? Best decision I ever made, HANDS DOWN. My world has color now. :)

    I've been reading xojane for the past 3 years...speaking of addiction, I just can't quit that damn website! Have you tried the beauty sister site, xovain? They prompted me to get a perm last month.

  22. You should congratulate yourself and celebrate. The demons are strong and I speak from own experience (won't say more due to privacy etc, but also this is about you). I thought you looked so genuinely happy in the house warming pix. Once again, you're an inspiration! ~LittleMissPlump (Sara)

  23. Well I'm still saying GO YOU! I don't know if I'd be able to quit drinking, so you have the strength of a goddess dear lady! Also, that lamp looks so wicked lit up, eee!

  24. It's wonderful that you put so many positive days of change in front of you. You look so utterly gorgeous, your skin is flawless and radiant. I can only imagine what you must have said to yourself when you saw that lamp waiting for a new home.

  25. I grew up with an alcoholic parent, so I know how difficult it is to admit you have a problem and then do something about it. It takes courage and support from loved ones to make a major change like that in your life, and I'm very glad you were able to do it. It is a big deal when you reach a point where you can be around alcohol but not feel the urge to imbibe.

    LOVE you in your sparkly, shiny outfit and lavender curls - you look just gorgeous! You have so many beautiful treasures in your home - all those colours and textures!

  26. you're a glitter and neon goddess, and so brave sharing this with us!!, you're lovely and touching and absolutely gorgeous!
    and you're under frida's protection and glamour!
    love those recycled clothes and fabulous cushions!
    besos & abrazos


  27. What a brave and gorgeous bunny you are... love your style and loving it is all you... Just be yourself coz you are fabulous! Hugs Cass x

  28. Thanks for sharing your story and beautiful looks with Visible Monday - you're brave and gorgeous! xox

  29. You are a gorgeous, strong, amazing lady!!!
    Congrats on another sober deserve the praise!!

    That Frida lamp is freaking fantastic!!!

  30. Missed this post, but now I've seen it, i have to congratulate you. Getting sober and staying that way shows immense courage and strength of character. Of course you are right, it is toughest for those around you who desperately want to see you 'better'. So well done once again, because you are looking fabulous and well done for overcoming that obstacle! Xxxx

  31. Fabulous post. Love the clothes, jewelry, hair, make-up, fabrics. Pretty badass staying dry this long!

  32. Good work. You might not want congratulations but you certainly deserve them.

    Oh and I am coveting your sparkly sequinned top, I am such a sucker for 60s evening wear........

  33. whether you wanna hear it or not: Congratulations on your success.

  34. So much eye candy. Ofcourse you and your outfits in the first place; wow wow wow! Loving it.

    Then the Frida lamp and all the other stuff you show; greedy! Want!

    And last but certainly not least your sobriety celebration; kudos to you. For staying sobre, but also for openly writing about it. I love it when people break the silence and taboos!

  35. Well done to your for staying sober and being so open about your past. When I get my butt to Brisbane we can totally hang out and be non-drinking together. I don't drink, but that's because I don't like drinking and I don't enjoy being around drunk people. I do appreciate how hard it is to be in a society where many people don't want to accept you don't drink - its like you have to have a reason not to drink, not wanting to is not enough. Anyway I am kind of pleased that Frida wasn't from an op shop - who could possibly leave her at an oppie! The store she did come from looks pretty amazing!

  36. I'm giving you a big round of applause anyway, even though you didn't ask for one. You've done an amazing job staying sober for five years. Well done to you.

    And that Frida lamp? Incredible!

  37. I'm giving you a big round of applause anyway, even though you didn't ask for one. You've done an amazing job staying sober for five years. Well done to you.

    And that Frida lamp? Incredible!


Just do it ...

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